First off, I just want to thank my family, god, and, most of all, the late Kelsey Grammer. Without them I would never have gotten to wear I am today. I love all the big strong men in the academy for giving me this tiny man award. It means so much that a little tiny man would give his life to be gilded in order to sit on my pillow to be dusted for eternity. Thank you tiny man, your life is worthless. If you weren't covered in gold, I would eat you.
Most of all, thank you to my Father. I see him in the audience shaking his fist at me. He looks furious. I love you Father. I am so furious right now! You raised me well!
The movie, Pants? No Thank You! (Just Kidding I'll have the pants ASAP) was a huge success in the box office, but it was an even bigger success in my pants. I love pants more than life itself. Goodbye academy, your arms are stronger than I will ever be.
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