The Blogigal Son Returns

So people keep asking me "Do you still blog?" And it really pisses me to peices. It really shows how little people care. I mean just check my blog ONE TIME and you could see the answer is yes. I'm a god damned Blogosaurus Rex to tell the truth. If you were even 1/8th the man my father was you'd know what I'm talking about.

 

Now back to pants. As I see it, a lot of really messed up people seem to think the warmer weather during the summer months excuses them to wear "shorts" instead of pants. Someone give me an oil change because that really grinds on my gears. It just shows how false people are. You think you can just wear pants when its cofortabel? You think you just wear them when you FEEL LIKE IT?? Fuck you. Simple as that.

Pants arent a lifestyle. They arent a choice. They are truth. they are god. They are life and death. They are the abyss and the light. When someone tells me they don't wear pants in the summer because its uncomfortable I laugh in their face! You fool!! Fool who will not suffer for the pants!! I gladly suffer for the pants, offer my worthless body and wretched mind up to them. Up to those uncaring unfeeling, indifferent pants. It is my greatest privilege and deepest pleasure.

So next time you think about asking someone why theyre wearing pants in the summer heat.. dont.

DP

I'm not mad. Just dissapointed. (English post #15)

First off, I just want to thank my family, god, and, most of all, the late Kelsey Grammer. Without them I would never have gotten to wear I am today. I love all the big strong men in the academy for giving me this tiny man award. It means so much that a little tiny man would give his life to be gilded in order to sit on my pillow to be dusted for eternity. Thank you tiny man, your life is worthless. If you weren't covered in gold, I would eat you.

Most of all, thank you to my Father. I see him in the audience shaking his fist at me. He looks furious. I love you Father. I am so furious right now! You raised me well!

The movie, Pants? No Thank You! (Just Kidding I'll have the pants ASAP) was a huge success in the box office, but it was an even bigger success in my pants. I love pants more than life itself. Goodbye academy, your arms are stronger than I will ever be.

BLOG POST 11: SETTING

the neighborhood I live in is called south west minneapolis. Southwest minneapolis is divided into the south and the west by a pair of lakes like a giant watery zipper. The south and the west look like giant pant legs between the lakes. The west pant is sparsely populated with lepers, or as they like to be called, the more leprosy-challenged. The south pant is full of people who are less leprosy-oriented. I live in the south pant but I occasionally travel to the west pant to bring the lepers leftovers from my weekly venture to the local TGI Fridays (and the occasional Champs and Houlihans). Everyone in the south pant has a pet. And I mean EVERYONE!

Seriously! The place is a veritable old McDonald had a farm! I LIVE RIGHT BY THE MINNEHAHA CREEK. My neighbor is a rich kid in a big house named Jake. He is my friend. Friends are fun sometimes but sometimes they can be mean. Jake was mean to me yesterday and it made me sad.

Kirk out.